"Death" has come up a lot recently. This is especially significant given our season of post-resurrection Easter.
I center this around a 2002 movie many of you have probably seen, "About Schmidt." I had heard wonderful things about this movie but didn't catch it till two nights ago. In a nutshell, it's about an aging father who retires from a mundane lifestyle. Soon afterwards, his wife dies and he finds himself without much purpose and drive for life. On top of this, his estranged daughter is marrying a man whom he severely dislikes (for good reasons). Needless to say, Schmidt finds himself facing mortality with little left on earth to prove for. In the midst of this, he was also driven by guilt from an infomercial to sponsor a young boy in Africa. The movie is centered upon letters Schmidt writes to this young boy detailing his life. The letters are extremely confessional and honest, more than what you assume from Schmidt. Here is the last letter you witness Schmidt write in the film:
Death is a growing, nearing, negative, reality for Schmidt.
I was asked yesterday to lead a Committal service for a Korean-American family connected to Arch Street Presbyterian. I agreed to it. This is my first burial committal service, and it so happens to be for a family whose primary language is Korean, who live on the outskirts of the city, and who somehow find a home at the slowly rebuilding community of Arch Street Presbyterian Church. They wanted someone from the church to lead the service, despite having several Korean pastors on hand. I was deeply honored to be welcomed into leading this service.
The service was for the family's young son who passed away. A powerful testimony and deeply difficult situation for the family. Despite this situation and the cultural differences, they still welcomed my leadership. Although I felt I handled it fine and it was powerful to witness, I still felt like I may have missed some cultural understandings of the service. Regardless, they were very welcoming of me, even taking me to lunch afterwards. I won't get into any more specifics here. I bring up this situation to again present the constant reality of death across cultural boundaries and viewpoint we take in relation to it.
That very evening, I led Bible study for the week's passage: Psalm 23. One of the most commonly used passages used at funerals. The people gathered that night acknowledged this history with the Psalm. However, they also acknowledged a distinct feeling of comfort and peace in the midst of this as they were exploring this Psalm again for the first time in years. Do we ever really pay it much attention?
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Although Psalm 23 deals with the dark areas of life, including death, the end of our days, it is bolstered by words of peace and comfort. Trust in God's sovereignty is the reigning theme of this psalm. This is both the most comforting element and most challenging concept in death. Trust in God's providence in the life of an individual, both on earth and beyond.
As always, it is the relationships that bolster our dealings with death. We are constantly seeking how our lives have been a reflection of God's love for humanity and our love for one another. We must know that our ability to share of ourselves and love one another are what stand beyond death.
The young man buried today was taken much earlier than many would have desired. The "why" question here can never truly be answered. Trust in God's plan can be difficult to understand. We are only left with memories of the relationships with this boy. We learn and grow by acknowledging God's supremacy in relationship and acknowledging the power of our own relationships. We must acknowledge those that are significant and life-giving because they are what stand beyond death.
Schmidt was unable to see the impact of sharing himself to the young African boy through mail. His letters were raw and authentic. However, Shmidt did not believe they were making much of a difference. He was caught up in the mess of his current life situation. Not until the very end of the movie does he realize the power of relationship over death (I recommend seeing the movie before watching clips - watch at your own risk!):
When we give of ourselves in relationships, we experience the peace of God. God works through us to impact others more than we can ever imagine. Within the finitude of daily life, may we recognize the people and situations that give us life as well as those we give life to. They reflect the life death and resurrection of Christ until our days on earth are done.
(apologies for the rambling thoughts of this post - they happen like this from time to time)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
easter between the two worlds
Christ is risen indeed! Ok...now what? What does that mean exactly? During Lent, we acknowledge darkness and absence of hope. The resurrection promise holds that new life, a better world is possible. It opens the way for radical hope. Easter worship at Arch St. Pres and BSM represent this claim in two differing ways.
Arch Street Presbyterian has been in the process of revitalization. We have been building new ministry there in a congregation that was quite dim. A congregation should never be defined by numbers, but new life is a valued commodity in a congregation void of such. Therefore, when we had a 50% increase in people in worship, MOSTLY young adult couples, the vision of the resurrection promise became visible. A church in the business district of the city can become a unique place for worship and mission. New life can blow through an old place.
BSM is a church community to many of the city's most desolate people. Holy Week took on such greater depth as it coincided with the annual closing of the 315 S. Homeless Cafe for the spring/summer/fall. Basically, 300 people throughout the city were put back on the street after temporary housing for winter months came to an end and homeless shelters remained at capacity. This Easter Sunday, BSM experienced the OPPOSITE of what usual "churches" experience on Easter Sunday. There were noticeably LESS people in worship! Although this may have been in large part to an evening service, you can't help but notice the absence of many of the usual Cafe guests. During the months they stayed at BSM, they had a sense of ownership and empowerment in the place. This is gone, for now.
This absence on Sunday, despite a wonderfully energetic, exciting, and moving service, was the reminder that the resurrection promise is not an end into itself. The very poor and destitute people Christ lived among and promised a better world to are now back on the street. This is a reminder of the stark world we live in and our calling from Christ to serve it faithfully. The resurrection promise propels us forth to radically live out how Christ calls us to be.
The story goes on.
Arch Street Presbyterian has been in the process of revitalization. We have been building new ministry there in a congregation that was quite dim. A congregation should never be defined by numbers, but new life is a valued commodity in a congregation void of such. Therefore, when we had a 50% increase in people in worship, MOSTLY young adult couples, the vision of the resurrection promise became visible. A church in the business district of the city can become a unique place for worship and mission. New life can blow through an old place.
BSM is a church community to many of the city's most desolate people. Holy Week took on such greater depth as it coincided with the annual closing of the 315 S. Homeless Cafe for the spring/summer/fall. Basically, 300 people throughout the city were put back on the street after temporary housing for winter months came to an end and homeless shelters remained at capacity. This Easter Sunday, BSM experienced the OPPOSITE of what usual "churches" experience on Easter Sunday. There were noticeably LESS people in worship! Although this may have been in large part to an evening service, you can't help but notice the absence of many of the usual Cafe guests. During the months they stayed at BSM, they had a sense of ownership and empowerment in the place. This is gone, for now.
This absence on Sunday, despite a wonderfully energetic, exciting, and moving service, was the reminder that the resurrection promise is not an end into itself. The very poor and destitute people Christ lived among and promised a better world to are now back on the street. This is a reminder of the stark world we live in and our calling from Christ to serve it faithfully. The resurrection promise propels us forth to radically live out how Christ calls us to be.
The story goes on.
Friday, April 2, 2010
good? friday.
Tonight, BSM held its annual "execute art, not people event," a night hosted by Pennsylvanians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty. We had a concert and a very powerful testimony by Vicki Scheiber, someone who was moved to fight for life without parole for her daughter's murderer. We heard a powerful story of redemption amidst a story of pure darkness.
Wait...isn't it Good Friday? Shouldn't a church be celebrating Christ dying on the cross? Once again, BSM pushes people to search deeper for meaning: A story of redemption against a story of darkness.
Good Friday is one of those holidays a lot of people grow up celebrating as the precursor to Easter. It's usually dark and solemn, a recognition of Christ's death and the apparent loss of all hope before the occurrence of resurrection. It's a pretty significant occurrence, particularly given that the cross is the most sacred symbol of the Christian faith.
Do we ever reflect on the significance of the cross being an instrument of capital punishment? Christ was murdered by the state. The way we view Christ in relation to this event should be the way we view our faith in relation to the state. The event is the story of darkness - of the fallenness of humankind. The reality of death.
What is this relationship? My understanding of Christ is redemption and forgiveness that knows no bounds. It is a Christ who told us to love our enemies. It is a Christ that in no way insinuated that we are to kill those who are a threat to society. It is a Christ who teaches us that ALL people are able to be redeemed. The relation to our story of darkness is one of hope, hope that should compel our every action here on earth. Hope for humanity.
I know this discussion is a heated one. I believe it is reflected in the larger discussion of how our faith influences public life. It is my firm belief that ALL Christians believe that their faith should influence public life, whether they admit it or not. Both sides just express it in different ways.
Tonight was a witness to the hope for redemption in the midst of darkness. It was a reminder that forgiveness, reconciliation, and redemption ALWAYS win. However, we are not there yet. We may never get there. Yet we know it's out there. Our salvation is here, yet not yet fully realized. There is so much more we are called to work towards.
As Tony Campolo often says..."Ssssssunday's a comin'!"
Good Friday is one of those holidays a lot of people grow up celebrating as the precursor to Easter. It's usually dark and solemn, a recognition of Christ's death and the apparent loss of all hope before the occurrence of resurrection. It's a pretty significant occurrence, particularly given that the cross is the most sacred symbol of the Christian faith.
Do we ever reflect on the significance of the cross being an instrument of capital punishment? Christ was murdered by the state. The way we view Christ in relation to this event should be the way we view our faith in relation to the state. The event is the story of darkness - of the fallenness of humankind. The reality of death.
What is this relationship? My understanding of Christ is redemption and forgiveness that knows no bounds. It is a Christ who told us to love our enemies. It is a Christ that in no way insinuated that we are to kill those who are a threat to society. It is a Christ who teaches us that ALL people are able to be redeemed. The relation to our story of darkness is one of hope, hope that should compel our every action here on earth. Hope for humanity.
I know this discussion is a heated one. I believe it is reflected in the larger discussion of how our faith influences public life. It is my firm belief that ALL Christians believe that their faith should influence public life, whether they admit it or not. Both sides just express it in different ways.
Tonight was a witness to the hope for redemption in the midst of darkness. It was a reminder that forgiveness, reconciliation, and redemption ALWAYS win. However, we are not there yet. We may never get there. Yet we know it's out there. Our salvation is here, yet not yet fully realized. There is so much more we are called to work towards.
As Tony Campolo often says..."Ssssssunday's a comin'!"
Sunday, March 28, 2010
take and eat (part 2)
Earlier, I reflected on Sara's experience of the mystery of the Eucharist as what drew her in. Now I want to reflect on her experience of church leading out from that moment. I call this experience an "exercise in prophetic imagination" (not directly related to the Bruggeman book, which I haven't read but am sure it's awesome.)
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Drawing In (Chapter 8 – Histories)Mainline Protestant churches often get so preoccupied with programs and liturgy that they don’t often notice the new people that can walk through the doors searching for something that speaks anew. Even current church members can get locked into the "same way" of doing things, where the prophetic imagination is lost.
Sara was drawn into the church because of a vibrant and expressive liturgy. She explains that the pastors of the church she started attending saw themselves as “messengers and prophets, with a call to save the church from its mindlessly rote worship, its autopilot traditions, and deadening clericalism” (77-78). The liturgy was led by a mixture of laypeople, giving a great visible symbol of the priesthood of all believers. Detailed explanations preceded all elements of liturgy, so that newcomers and outsiders would not be lost. Above all of these elements in liturgy is intentionality with the Eucharist focusing on radical inclusivity and focus on feeding strangers. This weekly practice is what drew Sara in and what she sees as a focal point for the church.
Discovering Prophetic Imagination (Chapter 11 – Good Works)
Prophetic imagination means seeking out the need in the community and the proper response of the congregation. Seeing the poverty and hunger in her community, Sara felt a call to create a food pantry out of the church. She believed this was an extension of the centrality of the Eucharist. With this vision, the next step was communication with the congregation. Sara found it frustrating that a church so open to unique liturgy was so resistant to actually living out such a project at first (109). She found support in another church member who became frustrated that the church was terrified of people who were not like them, opting to only do church meals for those currently in the church (110). They crafted a vision for the program, explaining it as “another way of being church—though one that didn’t demand belief or expect people to pray. It wasn’t a social service program but a service, modeled on the liturgy of the Eucharist,” (113).
The process became messy once Sara tried to draw the congregation into the idea. She met a lot of resistance from staff and church members after proposing the idea, largely centered around the dangers of homeless people in a sacred church building (117).
Navigating Prophetic Imagination (Chapter 14 – Gleaners)
Sara’s church became a vibrant place for ministry for the first months of its existence. Her prophetic imagination was becoming a reality. However, growing pains emerged soon as the pantry sought identity and its relationship to the congregation. Sara speaks of the constant struggle of offering a safe refuge versus maintaining a small community of the church (141).
Sara received several emails from congregants and church staff who were growing more and more uncomfortable with the effects of homeless people hanging around (150). There were also issues with the growing numbers at the pantry and thus growing frustrations and problems. They decided to press onward with the trust that God would provide. A defining moment comes at the anniversary of the food bank as volunteers and guests gather for a celebration of the Eucharist. They gather and sing in a moment that gave a lot of encouragement and hope for the food bank.
Radical visions of church can often get lost in conversation. We forget the calling to take risks for the sake of being prophets of Christ's love.
Prophetic Imagination in the Church (Chapter 18 – Manna, Chapter 19 – Misfits)
The food pantry began to grow as new days of the week were added to feed more people. Sara’s calling into this new ministry led her to work with congregational development to help churches look at creating food pantries. She explains frustrations with the constant unwillingness to take on new ministries: “It was as if the very habits of churchgoing had stripped away people’s capacity to take authority and do things on their own.” (204).
Sara had initially discovered church because of the willingness of the church to accept something new, her drive to create something new, and the growing community of volunteers and guests that were creating this new vision for church. A new community had been built alongside the church through the people Sara encountered. She describes their vision for church: “They wanted, in fact, church: not the kind where you sit obediently and listen to someone tell you how to behave but the kind where you discover responsibility, purpose, meaning…where they could find community.” (214).
All those involved with the food pantry found Sara’s church to be their church. Although many were not members, they still saw the initiative Sara’s prophetic imagination formed as their church. The ability to seek out new ways of expressing church to outsiders was the initial move that led to this exciting new ministry.
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The Holy Spirit breathes through the church constantly. When we fail to acknowledge the new opportunities God is putting in our path, we are failing to take risks for the working of the Holy Spirit. A church should remain open to transformation. A church should be radically hospitable in drawing in those with the power to lead the church in prophetic imagination. May we be willing to risk and hope for the new things God is calling us to in the church and beyond!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
roots
As mentioned in my earlier post, I had the opportunity to join a BSM volunteer group this past week as they went out to West Philadelphia. It was refreshing for me to experience a different part of Philadelphia, particularly other areas of deep poverty. There's kind of a lot of it in this city. We volunteered through a group called WePAC (west philadelphia alliance for children), serving an elementary school in a really rough part of town.
Their statistics are staggering.
As you can imagine, these were difficult kids, even though we only worked with k-2nd grade.
Capturing their attention was difficult, and when given the chance, they would run EVERYWHERE. The teachers were simply amazing - their commitment to these kids and the respect they maintained were highly impressive. Teachers out there, I salute you. This brief experienced reinforced to me how much the home life negatively affects these kids. The signs can be suttle, but SO informative about how kids grow up to have so many problems.
1. Parents brought their kids in to school throughout the day. There was no sense of punctuality. This was a reflection of greater issues of little to no parental involvement in the school.
2. A popular game of kindergardeners at recess was robbing a bank. They really enjoyed having "shoot outs"
3. I observed a project that was posted in the hall from a class writing about whether they would have a whale or a cat as a pet. A vast majority selected a whale because a cat "would not hurt them."
I use these examples NOT to say "shame on them for being bad," but to remind you all that you are born into systems. To those of you who wonder why poor people can't "climb out" of poverty and "stop getting arrested," take some time to visit schools such as these. You will come to realize that the roots of these problems lie in how kids grow up.
Think of your own life. The fact that you are reading this post right now means you've had a wealthy enough upbringing to have a computer and most likely GREAT access to thinks like education and...HEALTHCARE. "Being grateful for what you have" is so much more than being thankful to your mom and dad. It should be about recognizing that you are born into your situation and life should be about giving ALL people EQUAL opportunity.
Check out the link to WePAC above again and think about the statistics. Schools in impoverished areas have VERY SMALL amounts of funds to spend on their schools. Do the research. Realize the poison in the roots. Realize the calling we have to work toward equal opportunities for kids such as these.
Their statistics are staggering.
As you can imagine, these were difficult kids, even though we only worked with k-2nd grade.
Capturing their attention was difficult, and when given the chance, they would run EVERYWHERE. The teachers were simply amazing - their commitment to these kids and the respect they maintained were highly impressive. Teachers out there, I salute you. This brief experienced reinforced to me how much the home life negatively affects these kids. The signs can be suttle, but SO informative about how kids grow up to have so many problems.
1. Parents brought their kids in to school throughout the day. There was no sense of punctuality. This was a reflection of greater issues of little to no parental involvement in the school.
2. A popular game of kindergardeners at recess was robbing a bank. They really enjoyed having "shoot outs"
3. I observed a project that was posted in the hall from a class writing about whether they would have a whale or a cat as a pet. A vast majority selected a whale because a cat "would not hurt them."
Think of your own life. The fact that you are reading this post right now means you've had a wealthy enough upbringing to have a computer and most likely GREAT access to thinks like education and...HEALTHCARE. "Being grateful for what you have" is so much more than being thankful to your mom and dad. It should be about recognizing that you are born into your situation and life should be about giving ALL people EQUAL opportunity.
Check out the link to WePAC above again and think about the statistics. Schools in impoverished areas have VERY SMALL amounts of funds to spend on their schools. Do the research. Realize the poison in the roots. Realize the calling we have to work toward equal opportunities for kids such as these.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
helpless
"Know what the sin of the Pharisees was? They didn't take action."
This was an intial reaction to one of the most difficult situations I've found myself in since being in Philadelphia this year. It happened on a trolley going towards West Philadelphia. This week, I've been helping with a college group that has given up their spring break to volunteer at BSM and around the city. The past few days we've been going to a rough elementary school to volunteer. Stories to come about that experience later...
So anyway, THIS story takes place before we even get to the school today. We're heading westward on the trolley when all of a sudden we all smell something that assails our nostrils in the worst way possible. We soon realize that it's coming from a man who just entered the back door of the trolley, not paying the fare. A group of 4-5 boys sitting in the back of the bus immediately get up and move towards the front. The old man mumbles something unintelligible, though it sounds like he says something about "hurt my feelings."
After a couple more stops, the driver stops the trolley, stands up, looks towards the back and says "You gots to go!" Snickers erupt from the trolley. The man continues to mumble, and is defiant about not getting off the trolley. Another driver who was riding with us gets off the tram, yelling, "you stink" to the man from outside. Another man on board gets very upset, saying that if the guy doesn't get off, he's going to make him get off. Someone hails a nearby policeman, at which point the defiant man finally gets off the bus. The riders hail insults at him as he gets off. We continue to be glued to our seats, dead silent.
I check in with the group once we get off the trolley. We're all a bit rattled after the horrible display of hate we just witnessed. Despite the man's demeanor and appearance, there was NO reason for him to be treated the way he was. And we felt crummy for not stepping up. We felt like those who passed by the guy attacked by robbers on the side of the road. We did not take action, did not care for the least of these in that moment.
Situations like these are extremely complex. A perfect response is impossible. Intervening can only agitate already unstable people and make situations worse. If we weren't in such shock, we could have engaged the defiant man and invited him to get off the trolley WITH us, lying down to suffer with those under ridicule and hate.
We're not perfect. We do the best we can. This is an unfortunate reminder of our human condition and our need for a deeper hope and love among one another. Saying the right thing to do is easy. But making it happen is so much more difficult. We've all got a long way to go.
This was an intial reaction to one of the most difficult situations I've found myself in since being in Philadelphia this year. It happened on a trolley going towards West Philadelphia. This week, I've been helping with a college group that has given up their spring break to volunteer at BSM and around the city. The past few days we've been going to a rough elementary school to volunteer. Stories to come about that experience later...
After a couple more stops, the driver stops the trolley, stands up, looks towards the back and says "You gots to go!" Snickers erupt from the trolley. The man continues to mumble, and is defiant about not getting off the trolley. Another driver who was riding with us gets off the tram, yelling, "you stink" to the man from outside. Another man on board gets very upset, saying that if the guy doesn't get off, he's going to make him get off. Someone hails a nearby policeman, at which point the defiant man finally gets off the bus. The riders hail insults at him as he gets off. We continue to be glued to our seats, dead silent.
I check in with the group once we get off the trolley. We're all a bit rattled after the horrible display of hate we just witnessed. Despite the man's demeanor and appearance, there was NO reason for him to be treated the way he was. And we felt crummy for not stepping up. We felt like those who passed by the guy attacked by robbers on the side of the road. We did not take action, did not care for the least of these in that moment.
Situations like these are extremely complex. A perfect response is impossible. Intervening can only agitate already unstable people and make situations worse. If we weren't in such shock, we could have engaged the defiant man and invited him to get off the trolley WITH us, lying down to suffer with those under ridicule and hate.
We're not perfect. We do the best we can. This is an unfortunate reminder of our human condition and our need for a deeper hope and love among one another. Saying the right thing to do is easy. But making it happen is so much more difficult. We've all got a long way to go.
Monday, February 22, 2010
take and eat (part 1)
I'll start this one out with a joke!
"When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?’" -Luke 24:30-32
The disciples do not gain an immediate understanding of all things Christianity at this moment. They simply recognize it is Christ. This causes them to question their state, "could that have been Christ that caused us to desire more?" We encounter a recognition of physicality and mystery in this moment. It's a dichotomy that only urges our continued questioning guided by faith, not our dogma and assertions of absolute truth. Sara explains her state following that first Eucharist: "I went to church, heart pounding, and tried to figure out why"(64). Deep down, are us "churched" folk not the exact same way? Every day, a quest to understand the deeper mysteries of faith?
The Eucharist is central to worship at BSM. When those gathered come to receive the bread and juice, they are told that they ARE welcome to this table and that there IS enough grace (bread) to go around. They are encouraged to take big chunks of bread. They do so because they desire this physicality of the body of Christ and wish to seek the deeper mysteries of God.
When we get in "churchy" mode and forget to allow the working of questioning and doubt...when we don't allow the broken bread to work it's mysteries within us and others...when we tell people we have God figured out and forget to allow others in our midst...when we forget that the physical notion of bread is an invitation to feed others in our midst...we do a great disservice to the kingdom of God!
During this season of lent, may we be intentional about the meaning of the Eucharist.
*I will be posting more thoughts on this book later!
A church bus of Presbyterians drove off a cliff one day (greatest opener ever). When they all walked up to St. Pete in heaven, he welcomed them and brought them inside the gates. "Heaven is divided into floors based on denomination. Presbyterians are on the 4th floor, so please file in the elevator and I'll take you up!" The crowd followed St. Pete inside the elevator and it began to move (use your imagination for what the elevator music would have been). "Oh I almost forgot," exclaimed St. Pete, "When we're passing the 3rd floor, DON'T MAKE A NOISE." With confused faces, the Presbyterians followed suit until the doors finally opened on the 4th floor and the filed out. One of them asked St. Pete what that was all about and he said, "well you see, the Baptists are on the 3rd floor, and they think they're the only ones here!"
Apologies to my Baptist friends! Know I love you all dearly! I use this joke not to rip on them, but rather to encourage the notion that ALL Christians tend to think in this manner from time to time. We tend to think we are the epitome of Christendom. Those of us who have grown up in the church tend to forget that there are people out there who haven't. Understandings of salvation aside, there is a distinct church culture among us that acts more like an insider club than radical followers of Christ's message. We tend to forget those among us that are seeking and wishing for a place to exercise their questions of faith.
Now, I point out these "unchurched" NOT in the sense it is often used: "save them so they don't go to hell," but rather, to encourage my fellow church folk that by NOT acknowledging such people, you are NOT practicing hospitality and more importantly, you are NOT allowing them to come in and transform the church as the spirit leads them.
Enter "Take This Bread" by Sara Miles
Sara Miles, a lesbian left-wing journalist who grew up atheist, wrote this "spiritual memoir of a twenty-first-century Christian" to speak of her experience with God. Growing up, she speaks of an education based in physical experience and questioning, which led her to distrust dogma (14). Out of this, it's not hard to understand why someone like her would have grown up with a bad taste in her mouth for "the church" that told her exactly what she should believe instead of encouraging her questions and doubts.
This is the story of so many in our culture: questions and doubts. By avoiding these questions and doubts, are we not avoiding encouraging a deeper understanding of the gospel? Have we forgotten the glory of the mysteries of God?
One day, Sara walked into a church in time for Communion, the Eucharist. It was in this moment she experienced Christianity in a way she couldn't explain. She writes: "There was the immediacy of communion at St. Gregory's, unmediated by altar rails, the raw physicality of that mystical meal. There was an invitation to jump in rather than official entrance requirements. There was the suggestion that God could be located in experienced, sensed through bodies, tasted in food; that my body was connected literally and mysteriously to other bodies and loved without reason" (64). The physical components and mystical nature of Communion are what drew her into the Christian faith. There was a recognition that Christianity was about humans, in flesh in blood, on earth to feed one another. There is also a recognition of mystery in this moment, a desire to pursue and dwell within the great mysteries of God's love.
The Breaking of bread as a lens to experience God's mysteries is nothing new. Even in Scripture, the risen Christ was not recognized by his disciples until after the breaking of bread:
"When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?’" -Luke 24:30-32
The disciples do not gain an immediate understanding of all things Christianity at this moment. They simply recognize it is Christ. This causes them to question their state, "could that have been Christ that caused us to desire more?" We encounter a recognition of physicality and mystery in this moment. It's a dichotomy that only urges our continued questioning guided by faith, not our dogma and assertions of absolute truth. Sara explains her state following that first Eucharist: "I went to church, heart pounding, and tried to figure out why"(64). Deep down, are us "churched" folk not the exact same way? Every day, a quest to understand the deeper mysteries of faith?
The Eucharist is central to worship at BSM. When those gathered come to receive the bread and juice, they are told that they ARE welcome to this table and that there IS enough grace (bread) to go around. They are encouraged to take big chunks of bread. They do so because they desire this physicality of the body of Christ and wish to seek the deeper mysteries of God.
When we get in "churchy" mode and forget to allow the working of questioning and doubt...when we don't allow the broken bread to work it's mysteries within us and others...when we tell people we have God figured out and forget to allow others in our midst...when we forget that the physical notion of bread is an invitation to feed others in our midst...we do a great disservice to the kingdom of God!
During this season of lent, may we be intentional about the meaning of the Eucharist.
*I will be posting more thoughts on this book later!
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